NFL fans who went to -20C game attended by Taylor Swift 'underwent amputations after suffering frostbite'

NFL fans ‘underwent amputations after suffering frostbite’

Shield Insurance Blog | March 11 2024 | NFL Fans | Start an Insurance Quote Today!

NFL fans who went to -20C game attended by Taylor Swift ‘underwent amputations after suffering frostbite’

The football fans were among dozens of people across Kansas City who had to be treated for frostbite due to an 11-day cold snap at the beginning of the year. Taylor Swift was also at the match, supporting her boyfriend – but avoided the worst of the cold.

At least “some” NFL fans who attended a near-record cold game in Kansas City suffered extreme frostbite and had to undergo amputations, doctors have revealed.

Spectators braved -20C (-4F) temperatures to watch the Kansas City Chiefs host the Miami Dolphins at Arrowhead Stadium in the AFC wildcard round back on 13 January.

The wind chill – what the temperature feels like to the human body – dipped as low as -33C (-27F).

As a result, some fans were treated for frostbite, which causes damage to the skin and tissue, particularly extremities such as fingers and toes, after exposure to freezing temperatures.

The Research Medical Centre in Kansas said it had treated dozens of people who had experienced frostbite during an 11-day cold snap at the beginning of the year.

Twelve of those people, including some who were at the football game, had to undergo amputations involving mostly fingers and toes.

The centre said it was expecting to carry out more surgeries over the next few weeks as “injuries evolve”.

Christine Hamele, associate vice president of HCA Midwest Health, which operates seven hospitals, including the Research Medical Centre and its Grossman Burn Centre, said: “To date, 12 patients have undergone amputation surgeries, some of which attended the Chiefs game.

“Our specialised physicians and expert care team continue to treat and monitor patients’ healing to address long-term needs, and we expect more surgical procedures over the next two to four weeks as their injuries evolve.”

Click here for the full story…


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Various storage sites may have different security levels and exposure to risks such as theft, vandalism, or weather-induced damage.

What Type of Boat Insurance Do You Need If You’re Just Storing Your Boat?

Shield Insurance Blog | Boat Insurance | Contact an Agent Today! | Visit the Quoting Portal

Understanding Boat Insurance for Stored Boats in Michigan

Whether your boat is in off-season storage or not actively in use for extended periods, maintaining insurance coverage to guard your valuable asset against possible risks is critical. Shield Insurance Agency in Michigan acknowledges the importance of securing your boat—even when it’s docked. Below, we provide insight into boat insurance for stored boats.

The Importance of Storage Location

Your chosen boat storage location can influence the kind of insurance coverage you require. Whether you park it in a marina, storage facility, or your own garage, guaranteeing the right coverage is crucial. Various storage sites may have different security levels and exposure to risks such as theft, vandalism, or weather-induced damage.

Comprehensive Boat Insurance Coverage for Added Peace of Mind

Comprehensive boat insurance offers coverage for a wide assortment of risks, including theft, vandalism, fire, storms, and natural catastrophes. Even a stored boat remains vulnerable to damage from unexpected incidents. Comprehensive coverage ensures you’re financially secure against unforeseen events that may harm or destroy your boat.

The Need for Liability Protection

Liability coverage presents another critical component of boat insurance, irrespective of whether your boat is in storage or use. Liability protection covers costs connected to property damage or bodily injury for which you may be liable while operating your boat or if an individual is injured on your stored boat.

Contact Shield Insurance Agency

At Shield Insurance Agency, we’re dedicated to helping Michigan boat owners shelter their investments with thorough insurance coverage. Our seasoned agents will work closely with you to understand your needs, explore coverage options, and customize a policy offering peace of mind at sea or in storage. Reach out to us for your boat insurance consultation.

 


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Flood insurance ☔ the ultimate safeguard for your home - here's why you shouldn't ignore it!

Flood insurance ☔ the ultimate safeguard for your home – here’s why you shouldn’t ignore it!

Shield Agency Blog | Flood Insurance | Contact our office for details!

When it comes to protecting your home and ensuring your financial security, there are many factors to consider. One of the most important aspects of this is having the right insurance coverage in place. While homeowners insurance is a common requirement for most homeowners, there is one type of coverage that often gets overlooked – flood insurance.

Disaster preparedness and emergency planning are crucial for any homeowner. Natural disasters can strike at any time, and being prepared can make all the difference in minimizing damage and ensuring the safety of your loved ones. While many people associate natural disasters with events like hurricanes or earthquakes, one of the most common and destructive disasters is flooding.

Flood damage can be devastating, causing extensive property damage and financial loss. Without the proper insurance coverage, homeowners may find themselves facing significant repair costs and the burden of rebuilding their lives. This is where flood insurance comes into play.

Flood insurance is a specialized type of coverage that protects homeowners from the financial impact of flood damage. It provides coverage for both the structure of your home and its contents, ensuring that you are protected in the event of a flood. While homeowners insurance may cover some types of water damage, it typically does not cover flood damage.

Flood prevention and protection are essential, but it is important to understand that no amount of preparation can completely eliminate the risk of flooding. Even if you live in an area with a low flood risk, it is still wise to consider flood insurance. Flooding can occur due to a variety of factors, including heavy rainfall, melting snow, or even a burst pipe. It is always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to protecting your home and your financial security.

Homeowners insurance is designed to protect your property from a wide range of risks, but it does not typically include flood coverage. This means that without flood insurance, you may be left to bear the financial burden of flood damage on your own. This can be a significant blow to your financial security and can leave you struggling to recover from the aftermath of a flood.

Property damage is not the only concern when it comes to flooding. The emotional toll of losing your home and belongings can be overwhelming. Having flood insurance in place can provide peace of mind, knowing that you have the financial resources to rebuild and replace what has been lost.

Risk management is an important aspect of protecting your home and your financial security. By investing in flood insurance, you are taking proactive steps to mitigate the risk of flood damage. This can help you avoid the financial devastation that can occur in the aftermath of a flood and ensure that you are able to recover and rebuild.

At Shield Insurance Agency, we understand the importance of having the right insurance coverage in place. That’s why we represent over 40 insurance companies, allowing us to find the best coverage options for our clients. Whether you are in need of flood insurance, homeowners insurance, or any other type of coverage, our experienced agents are here to help.

Contact Shield Insurance Agency at (616) 896-4600 for a free quote today or start the quoting process by visiting this LINK and an agent will be in touch soon. We are committed to helping you protect your home, your belongings, and your financial security. Don’t wait until it’s too late – invest in flood insurance and ensure that you are prepared for whatever comes your way.

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Passenger crochets beanie for a mesmerized baby on an airplane

Passenger crochets beanie for a mesmerized baby on an airplane

GoodnewsNetwork | Andy Corbley | Jan 22, 2024 | crochets beanie | Travel Insurance |

Stranger on Airplane Quickly Crochets Beanie for Baby Mesmerized by the Yarn in Motion Across the Aisle

Kelly and Jake were nervous about taking their 5-month-old daughter on an airplane, as most new parents would be. Flying from New Jersey to Mexico isn’t a short haul, and they weren’t sure what to expect.

But it was on the flight home that the unexpected arose, when little Romey was calmly fascinated by the woman across the aisle who was crocheting—her hands constantly moving was transfixing the tot.

The crocheter, Meegan Rubin, noticed the baby watching her, and also realized the yarn she was using for her project matched the little girl’s outfit. With an hour left on the flight, she decided to make a beanie for Romey, and surprised the family with the hat once they landed.

Captured and summarized by the mom on her TikTok account, it went viral and has racked up almost 8 million views to date.

Passenger Quickly Crochets Beanie

“Never seen someone work so fast in my life. I had no idea it was for us,” the Mom recalled to Good Morning America. “What a cool way to just do something nice for a stranger,’ and in turn, light up everyone else’s day.”

Kelly and Jake were nervous about taking their 5-month-old daughter on an airplane, as most new parents would be. Flying from New Jersey to Mexico isn’t a short haul, and they weren’t sure what to expect.

But it was on the flight home that the unexpected arose, when little Romey was calmly fascinated by the woman across the aisle who was crocheting—her hands constantly moving was transfixing the tot.

The crocheter, Meegan Rubin, noticed the baby watching her, and also realized the yarn she was using for her project matched the little girl’s outfit. With an hour left on the flight, she decided to make a beanie for Romey, and surprised the family with the hat once they landed.

Captured and summarized by the mom on her TikTok account, it went viral and has racked up almost 8 million views to date.

“Never seen someone work so fast in my life. I had no idea it was for us,” the Mom recalled to Good Morning America. “What a cool way to just do something nice for a stranger,’ and in turn, light up everyone else’s day.”

Watch the video here


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How To Get The Most Out Of An Umbrella Policy

How To Get The Most Out Of An Umbrella Policy

Shield Insurance Agency Blog | Umbrella Policy | Start A Quote Today! | Contact Shield Office

When you own a home as well as one or more vehicles, there are different insurance policies that you need for them. These policies are highly important for protecting what are likely your largest investments. However, having home and auto insurance policies may not be enough. You may need to get an umbrella policy to augment them both. This type of insurance does a lot for you, and one of those things is to save you money. To get started with an umbrella policy, call us at Shield Insurance Agency in Michigan.

Umbrella Policy is a Cost-Effective Insurance

You pay for both your home and auto insurance policies. Each of these comes with a set amount of coverage, including liability coverage. If you want more liability coverage to protect yourself better against serious accidents, you can always add more of it to both your home and auto policies. Of course, this can be highly expensive, especially if you want a lot of coverage. It costs far less to simply get an umbrella policy. Umbrella insurance adds to both your home and auto policies so that you don’t have to add to each of them individually. It also comes with an enormous coverage amount for a low price. It’s a great way to save money while staying well-protected. 

An Umbrella Policy Provides Financial Protection

The protection that you get from umbrella insurance can save you money in other ways. If an accident happens and the home or auto policy comes in to pay for it, it may not be able to pay all of the bills. Those would be up to you to pay if not for an umbrella policy. An umbrella policy would come in next to pay the leftover bills. 

Get Umbrella Insurance

When you want to save money while having the insurance you need, call us at Shield Insurance Agency in Michigan.


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Looking for a Good Laugh Check Out These 108 Witty and Clever Sarcastic Quotes - Guaranteed to Make Your Day!

Looking for a Good Laugh? Check Out These 108 Witty and Clever Sarcastic Quotes – Guaranteed to Make Your Day!

Readers Digest | Aug. 22, 2023 | Sarcastic Quotes | Shield Insurance Blog

108 Sarcastic Quotes That Are the Perfect Mix of Witty and Clever

Sarcasm quote: “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest.” by Fred Allen

Looking for a roundup of hilarious sarcasm quotes? Here they are. You’re soooo welcome.

Love ’em or hate ’em, there’s a reason sarcasm quotes are all over the internet. Like funny sayings, sarcasm quotes play with the interpretation of words and tone in a way that can stretch your brain if you’re not expecting it.

To use sarcasm, you have to say something that’s the opposite of what you mean (kind of like uttering a funny inspirational quote when you’re trying to be anything but inspiring). To understand sarcasm, you have to pick up on both the literal meaning and the underlying sentiment. Sarcasm is a true lie.

But there can be a dark side to all that insincerity. The word sarcasm comes from a Greek word, sarkazein, which means “to tear at something,” like a dog might.

By the 1570s, the word had become sarcasmus, meaning “a biting remark or gibe.” A sarcastic taunt can stick like nothing else; there’s a reason we might say our sarcastic colleague has a sharp tongue.

Instead of playful zingers like funny coffee quotes or funny work quotes, their comebacks are mocking.

So why do we use sarcasm so much? There are a few possible reasons you’ll catch everyone from kindergartners to senior citizens doing some verbal eye-rolling.

For starters, sarcasm is hilarious. Like perfectly timed funny quotes, a sarcastic comment can put someone rude in their place or help you make a self-deprecating joke (think: tripping over your shoelace and saying “Smooth move, huh?”).

Sarcasm is also a more mature way of expressing feelings like anger or disappointment. When your car doesn’t start yet again, you can turn to your mechanic and say, “I’m so glad we chose this one” instead of yelling in frustration.

By definition, sarcasm is the opposite of sincerity, and you can use it to signal that you’re not naive—this is probably why teens, in particular, spout sarcasm nonstop. Who wants to seem cooler and more grown-up than a high schooler?

Whether you’re looking to improve your comeback game or simply enjoy a smirk or two, these quotes will teach you the art of sarcasm. (Not that you need help in the humor department.)

Sarcastic Quotes

1. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” —Fred Allen

2. “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.” —Groucho Marx

3. “History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.” —Abba Eban

4. “I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.” —Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

5. “When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work.” —Unknown

6. “Have no fear of perfection—you’ll never reach it.” —Salvador Dalí

7. “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” —Johnny Carson

8. “If everything seems to be going well, you have overlooked something.” —Unknown

9. “A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” —Unknown

10. “Don’t be so humble—you are not that great.” —Golda Meir

There’s witty, and then there’s next-level witty: deploying funny one-liners.

11. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.” —Unknown

12. “You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm. It’s really funny.” —Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians 

13. “Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.” —Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

14. “Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.” —Mahmoud Darwish

15. “It’s all fun and games until someone doesn’t pick up on the sarcasm.” —Unknown

16. “It’s wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.” —Christopher Moore, Lamb 

17. “My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I am kidding anymore.” —Unknown

18. “You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way.” —Unknown

19. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest.” —Unknown

20. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.” —Unknown

21. “I’m allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.” —Unknown

22. “Honey, tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.” —Megan Mullally as Karen Walker on Will & Grace

23. “Sarcasm is not an attitude. It is an art.” —Unknown

24. “Sarcasm and compassion are two of the qualities that make life on Earth tolerable.” —Nick Hornby, Songbook

25. “Sarcasm: helping the intelligent tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.” —Unknown

26. “I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.” —Unknown

27. “There is a great need for a sarcasm font.” —Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

28. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.” —Unknown

29. “If you think nobody cares that you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” —Unknown

30. “Sometimes I feel so sick at the state of the world I can’t even finish my second apple pie.” —Banksy, Wall and Peace

More Sarcastic Quotes


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Man Builds Underwater Maze For Octopus,🐙Puts Its Intelligence To The Test

Man Builds Underwater Maze For Pet Octopus,🐙Puts Its Intelligence To The Test

Shield Insurance Blog | December 7, 2023 | Pet Octopus | Medical Insurance | Shield Home Page

A few years ago, Mark Rober went viral with his amazing backyard squirrel maze video (watch here). The video garnered over 100 million views on YouTube alone!

Well, he’s back with a new video making the rounds. This time, it’s an intricate underwater maze for his pet octopus.

Octopuses are widely recognized as highly intelligent creatures. They are exceptional problem solvers, have an excellent sense of spatial awareness, and exhibit both short-term and long-term memory capabilities.

With these attributes, it should prove to be an outstanding maze solver. Now, let’s observe its performance!

Want to learn more about the Pet Octopus?

Click here for the full National Geographic Stories for Kids

Octopus

Octopuses are sea animals famous for their rounded bodies, bulging eyes, and eight long arms. They live in all the world’s oceans but are especially abundant in warm, tropical waters. Octopuses, like their cousin, the squid, are often considered “monsters of the deep,” though some species, or types, occupy relatively shallow waters.

Most octopuses stay along the ocean’s floor, although some species are pelagic, which means they live near the water’s surface. Other octopus species live in deep, dark waters, rising from below at dawn and dusk to search for food. Crabsshrimps, and lobsters rank among their favorite foods, though some can attack larger prey, like sharks. Octopuses typically drop down on their prey from above and, using powerful suctions that line their arms, pull the animal into their mouth. The octopus performs its famous backward swim by blasting water through a muscular tube on the body called a siphon. Octopuses also crawl along the ocean’s floor, tucking their arms into small openings to search for food. Sealswhales, and large fish prey on octopuses.


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How To Make Things Right With Your Soul For Less Than A Twenty! 💲

How To Make Things Right With Your Soul For Less Than A Twenty! 💲

Not Always Right | December 29, 2023 | Right With Your Soul | Shield Insurance

I am working at my register, serving a young woman who is trying to handle a fussy toddler. She looks tired, underweight, pale, and just… a little bit broken. This poor woman is going through the wringer. Sadly, I have to give her some bad news.

Me: “I’m sorry, but your debit card has been declined.”

She looks at me with eyes that I can tell are on the verge of crying, but she swallows this bad news and shakes it off like it’s a muscle memory.

Customer: “I’m sorry, I thought I might have been paid by now. My boss isn’t always on time. I only have £4.77 on me in cash. What can I get for the baby for that?”

She takes out her cash, all low-value coins, and places it respectfully on the counter. I double-check the amount of the items she is buying, all cheap store-brand items, and all essentials. It comes to just over £20.

Suddenly, without even thinking about it myself, I apply the employee discount and then tap my smartwatch to pay for the items.

Customer: *Eyes going wide* “Wait, what? What did you do?”

Me: “Today, it’s on me. Take your little one home to get fed, and then shout at your boss for not paying you on time.”

Customer: *Sliding the coins at me* “No… No, I can’t. Please tell me what I owe, and I’ll come back—”

Me: *Sliding the coins back* “I wouldn’t have done it if I couldn’t manage it. Seriously, please, it’s fine. I hope the rest of your day goes better!”

The customer finally breaks. The tears start running down her face and keep on coming. Her toddler has noticed and is confused, so she starts crying, too.

Customer: “It’s… it’s just… been so long… and I…”

The register is between the customer and me, so it’s a bit awkward, but I reach forward and give her a hug. She hugs back tightly.

Right With Your Soul

Me: “It’s okay. You’ll be okay. I think you need to calm your little one down a bit.”

The customer wipes her face and then smiles at her crying toddler, picking her up and calming her down as I bag her items for her (not something we usually do for customers). She thanks me again, and she’s on her way.

The next customer in line approaches me.

Next Customer: “You know that was a scam, right? I admit she was a good actress, and the crying kid was a nice touch, but she scammed free stuff out of you.”

Me: “So what?”

The next customer is suddenly surprised. He wasn’t expecting me to not be so naïve.

Me: “If she’s a scammer, well then, she got £18 from me that I can afford to lose. If she hadn’t been a scammer and I had done nothing, then I would be losing sleep thinking about it, and lack of sleep is something that I cannot afford. So, yeah… so what? Why do you have to be so negative?”

Next Customer: “I was just saying—”

Me: “Well, next time, don’t.”

I scanned his items silently and he left red-faced: angry or embarrassed, I didn’t care. Is it Right With Your Soul?

The first customer and her toddler were back a few days later. She had come back the day before looking for me, but I was off that day. She wanted to try to pay me back and say thank you again! Of course, I refused and told her to always find me when she’s checking out in the future and I’d see if I couldn’t wrangle up some discounts for her. 

Returning the money… pretty sure that’s not something a scammer would do… Is it Right With Your Soul


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Unwrap the Magic with These Enchanting Christmas Stories

Unwrap the Magic with These Enchanting Christmas Stories 🧑‍🎄

American Literature | Christmas Stories | Shield Insurance Agency Blog | Shield Insurance

American Literature.com has collected over 100 Great Christmas Stories, Books, Poems, and Christmas Carols for you to enjoy; stories to kindle your holiday spirit. We list the more unusual titles in Off-Beat Christmas Stories, followed by Christmas BooksChristmas Poems, and traditional Christmas Carols and Christmas Cards


Christmas Stories for Children

The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen 

A sad and beautiful story to remind us all to be thankful and charitable and to appreciate what we have at Christmas time.

The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry

A young married couple– rich in love, poor in money– buy each other gifts and teach all of us about sacrifice and giving.

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

One of the most enduring Christmas stories of all time, a morality tale of the bitter old miser, Ebeneezer Scrooge, who has a change of heart after visits from the ghosts of Christmases Past, Present, and Yet to Come.

The Elves and the Shoemaker by The Brothers Grimm

A poor shoemaker and his wife are down to their last piece of leather when their fortunes change thanks to help from talented elves.

The Fir-Tree by Hans Christian Andersen

A tree can’t wait to grow up and achieve great things, rather than appreciate the present.

More Christmas Stories for Children

The Last Dream of Old Oak by Hans Christian Andersen

An unlikely conversation between and old oak and a mayfly that delightfully illustrates the wonder of perspective.

Christmas Jenny by Mary E. Wilkins Freeman

“Bein’ a missionary to robins an’ starvin’ chippies an’ little deaf an’ dumb children is jest as good as some other kinds, an’ that’s what she is.”

A Christmas Dream, and How It Came to be True by Louisa May Alcott

A children’s take on Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, Alcott shares a delightful story from a young girl’s point of view.

Christmas; or, The Good Fairy by Harriet Beecher Stowe

A precious story about the joy of thoughtful gift-giving and the appreciation of recipients.

Papa Panov’s Special Christmas Stories by Leo Tolstoy

An old man welcomes strangers into his home, a story of compassion and kindness.

The Night Before Christmas: A Morality by William Dean Howells

Clarence Fountain is quite cynical about the pretense of self-deception about Santa Claus as his children grow older; that is, until his family leads him to a complete change of heart.

Merry Christmas Stories for Children by Stephen Leacock

A man struggling to write a Christmas story gets a visit from Father Time to discuss what’s wrong with Christmas, then is treated to Father Christmas’ arrival, rekindling his true belief in the season’s magic.

Click here for More Christmas Stories for Children


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100 Funny Thanksgiving Jokes 😂 to Tell Once Everyone Is Gathered 'Round

100 Funny Thanksgiving Jokes 😂 to Tell Once Everyone Is Gathered ‘Round

The Pioneer Woman | Oct 23, 2023 | Thanksgiving | ShieldAgency.com

What do you call a baker who only makes pies? The Pie-oneer Woman.

Being around family during Thanksgiving should consist of a lot of love and laughter. Emphasis on the laughter! We know that it’s hard to escape the stress of planning a menu. Not to mention, you may have an itinerary full of activities. But once everyone is finally gathered around the table, it’s time to sit back, relax, and bring on the laughs—and there’s no better way to do that than by telling these hilarious jokes!

If your family is anywhere as goofy as the Drummonds, cracking a couple of silly puns will be a welcome addition to your holiday traditions. With dozens of jokes for kids and adults ahead, you and your loved ones will be gobblin’ all night long. After all, laughter is the best medicine—and the gravy on top of a special holiday! With this collection of humor including turkey puns, food-related one-liners, and pilgrim jokes, you’ll be on a casse-roll all evening. These family-friendly jokes will have every stuffed mouth chucklin’. And who knows—maybe these will give you some inspiration for clever Turkey Instagram captions or fall captions to make your online friends and family laugh out loud, too. What are you waiting for? Go ahead and find out why the turkey crossed the road!

  • What do you call a baker who only makes pies? The Pie-oneer Woman.
  • What did one pumpkin pie say to the other? “You wanna piece of me?”
  • Why should you never tell secrets in a cornfield? Because the corn has ears.
  • What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace? “Grace.”
  • How’d the Thanksgiving cheese plate go over? Everyone was grateful.
  • What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Yammies.
  • What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham? Nice to meat you.
  • Why don’t side dishes tell jokes? They’re too corny.
  • What do you call a sad cranberry? A blueberry.
  • What do you need to make Thanksgiving s’mores? Pil-grahams.
  • Do you know where you can get turkey stock in bulk? The stock market.
  • What do you tell your jokester cousin on Thanksgiving? You’re on a casse-roll!
  • What did the president say when presented with a poorly cooked turkey? “Is it too late for a pardon?”
  • What does grandma say when you burn the holiday meal? Oh, good gravy!
  • How did you find grandma’s turkey this year? I just looked next to the gravy.
  • Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing.
  • What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes? Squash casserole.
  • Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert? Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
  • What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!
  • Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
  • What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner? The casse-role.
  • How did the salt and pepper welcome all the guests? By saying, “Seasoning’s greetings!”
  • What vegetables would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner? Beets me!
  • Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving? Because you far exceeded your feed limit.

Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes

More funny Thanksgiving Jokes


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